Friday, April 19, 2013

19 year-old shuts down Boston

From The White House Blog: the President said, whichever terrorists are behind the attack on Monday picked the wrong city as a target, because Boston will not be terrorized or intimidated:

The suspects are brothers of Chechen origin with the last name Tsarnaev, law enforcement officials told NBC News. The suspect at large, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, is 19, was born in Kyrgyzstan and has a Massachusetts driver’s license, they said. The dead suspect was identified as Tamerlan Tsarnaev, 26, born in Russia.

More than 1 million people in Boston and the suburbs were ordered to stay inside and lock their doors.

I would say the President doesn't know what he is talking about by saying Boston will not be terrorized or intimidated, the 19 year-old has done a pretty good job of shutting the city down. 

President Obama Signs Massachusetts Emergency Declaration

The President today declared an emergency exists in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and ordered federal aid to supplement commonwealth and local response efforts due to the emergency conditions resulting from explosions on April 15, 2013, and covering eligible activities through April 22, 2013.

The President's action authorizes the Department of Homeland Security, Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), to coordinate all disaster relief efforts which have the purpose of alleviating the hardship and suffering caused by the emergency on the local population, and to provide appropriate assistance for required emergency measures, authorized under Title V of the Stafford Act, to save lives and to protect property and public health and safety, and to lessen or avert the threat of a catastrophe in the counties of Middlesex, Norfolk, and Suffolk.

Specifically, FEMA is authorized to identify, mobilize, and provide at its discretion, equipment and resources necessary to alleviate the impacts of the emergency. Emergency protective measures, including direct federal assistance, will be provided at 75 percent federal funding.

W. Craig Fugate, Administrator, Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), Department of Homeland Security, named James N. Russo as the Federal Coordinating Officer for federal recovery operations in the affected area.

This Weekend Croquet At St. Johns College

Thirty-first anniversary of a family-friendly celebration
St. John’s College welcomes the community to bring their picnic baskets, high spirits, and Gatsbyesque, vintage attire for the 31st annual St. John’s-U.S. Naval Academy croquet match. An Annapolis tradition, the family-friendly event will take place on the front lawn of St. John’s College, 60 College Ave, on Saturday, April 20, at 1 p.m. Rain date is Sunday, April 21.

The Johnnies have won the coveted Annapolis Cup 25 out of 30 times.

The match, which lasts about two hours, draws more than 2,000 spectators

To ensure a grand lawn party for all several new ground rules were introduced in 2012. Of note: spectators can still bring lavish picnics, but cannot bring outside alcohol on campus; champagne, beer, and wine will be sold at the match. Tent spaces must be reserved in advance. To reserve a tent space, contact Dolores Strissel at 410-626-2531. For more information, visit the Croquet page.

Same Sex Marriage

Altho I do not agree with many things the Catholic Church says and does I do think Bishop Malooly corrected stated the following view;

WILMINGTON, Del. (CNS) -- Marriage "is a unique relationship between a man and a woman" and it's not the government's place to "define or redefine" it, Bishop W. Francis Malooly of Wilmington said in an April 15 letter to Delaware legislators.
The letter was sent four days after Gov. Jack Markell announced a bill to legalize same-sex marriage in the state. In 2011, Delaware legalized civil unions for same-sex couples.
While the government can regulate marriage, Bishop Malooly wrote, it's "not theirs to define or redefine its essential makeup. It remains God's design, a permanent union between a man and a woman."
He said his letter was not written "to attack anyone, but rather to join the current public debate about marriage and to voice once again the God-given meaning and purpose of marriage."
God created marriage, a unique relationship and loving partnership between a man and a woman, for two purposes: "the good and happiness of the couple and the continuation of the human race," he wrote.
Bishop Malooly acknowledged the current notion that marriage is "just about love and commitment between two people," an argument that supports the redefining of marriage to include persons of the same sex.
However, the bishop told lawmakers, while marriage is about love, "it is also about the unique expression of love that only and man and woman as husband and wife can give to each other."
True marital union, he wrote, "is impossible without the sexual difference. Sexual difference and the capacity to procreate is the very starting point for understanding why it is so important to protect and promote marriage as a union between one man and one woman."
Marriage isn't a label "that can be attached to different types of relationships," the bishop added. Marriage "is best described as a communion," where, in the words of Scripture, 'the two become one flesh,'" the bishop wrote.
"No other relationship, no matter how loving or committed, can have this unique capacity to bring about new life. This is why sexual intimacy is reserved for married love."
Marriage is the only union "that has the capacity to do what God ordered: 'Be fruitful and multiply.'"
With his April 15 letter, the bishop also sent lawmakers a copy of his February pastoral letter to Catholics on the church's teachings on marriage. That letter, "Marriage -- Gift from God," is posted on The Dialog's website,

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Wicomico Public library Booksale April 26 and 27th

The Friends of Wicomico Public Library will hold a Spring Book Sale on April 26th and 27th. It will be held during the Salisbury Festival weekend so be prepared for parking problems and crowds.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Ole and Lena Jokes

As a member of the Delmar Historical and Arts Society (DHAS) I usually try to do internet searches for fundraising ideas other historical society do.  One interesting idea was the Northfield Minnesota. Historical Society is having an Ole and Lena annual Joke night.  Now many areas of the country have ethic groups they make fun of (Hawaii and the Portuguese come to mind) it would appear in Minnesota they have Ole and Lena Jokes so politically incorrect - but funny. A number of the jokes you may have heard using a different or various other ethic groups.  So with the exception of accents here are a few Ole and Lena Jokes you may heard in a different format;

Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena Said, "Ole, you can go farther if ya vant to"... so Ole drove to Duluth.         

Lena passed away and Ole called 911. The 911 operator told Ole that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Ole replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
"Can you spell that for me?" the operator asked.
There was a long pause and finally Ole said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up der?"

Ole and Lena was at the kitchen table for the usual morning cup of coffee and listening to a weather report coming from the radio.
"There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. All vehicles should be parked on the odd-numbered side of the streets today to facilitate snowplows," the radio voice declared.
"Oh, gosh, OK," said Ole, getting up, bundling up and heading outside to dutifully put his car on the odd-numbered side of the street.
Two days later, Ole and Lena were at morning coffee when the radio voice said:
"There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your vehicles on the even-numbered side of the streets."
Ole got up from his coffee as before. He bundled up, shuffled off, and put his car on the even-numbered side of the street.
A few days later, the couple was at the table when the radio voice declared:
"There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the ..." Just then, the power went out.
"Park it where?" Ole asked in the dark, "What should I do?"
"Aw, to heck with them, Ole," Lena said, "Don't worry about it today. Just leave the car in the garage."

When Ole and Lena were young and in love they would got to there favorite spot to park. One night while parked hugging and kissing Ole asks Lena, "Lena how would you like to go in the back?"
"No," she replies. So they hug and kiss some more. Again, Ole asks Lena to go in the back. Lena replies, "Ole, why are you always asking me to go in the back, I want to stay in front with you!" 

     Ole, Lars and Sven had been going to the Sons of Norway hall meeting as long as there had been a hall. And every month, wouldn't ya know it, they didn't win a prize in the monthly draw. That is until the last meeting. Sven was the first one of the three to get his name drawn. He won two pounds of spaghetti sauce, four boxes of noodles, and three pounds of Swedish meatballs. Ole had his name drawn next. He got himself round trip tickets to Duluth, a nights stay at the Dew Drop Inn and a pair of tickets to see the Inger triplets Polka Ensemble. Ole thought that he had died and gone to heaven. Lars was the last one to have his name drawn, he won a toilet brush.

At the next monthly meeting, they sat down together to check out how each other had fared for the past month. Sven said "Uff da, I had dat pasghetti for tree days. It was so good, and Helga didn't have to buy food for dem dere tree days." Ole said "Lena was so happy vhen I brought home dem tickets. The trip up to Dulut was nice, we got to ride da Greyhound, and you know, they got a built in outhouse on dat dere bus. And the Inger Triplets, if I didn't know better, I would swear dey were sisters."

Then Ole turned to Lars, and asked him how his prize worked out. Lars looks at them both and says "Dat dere toilet brush is nice, but I tink I'll go back to using paper."

Ole and Sven are at a funeral. Suddenly it occurs to Ole that he doesn't remember the name of the dearly departed. Ole turns to Sven and asks: "Sven, could you remind me again who died?" Sven thinks for a moment and says, "I'm not sure," Sven points at the casket, "...but I think it was de guy in de box."

Ole and Sven are out deer hunting. Ole bags a buck. After they dress the deer and tag it, they grab it by its hind legs and start dragging through the woods back to the car. A game warden happens on the pair and, after checking their tags and admiring the buck tells them that they are dragging the deer out all wrong. By dragging it by the rear legs, the snow, leaves and dirt are getting caught by the animals fur, and the horns are getting all tangled in the brush. The warden suggests that they drag it by the front legs. They agree to try it and much to their surprise, it is much easier dragging the deer this way. After a half hour of this Sven turns to Ole and says, "Boy dat game warden was right, it sure is easier dragging de deer dis way, but ya know, we are getting further away from de car."

Ole goes out one day to use the outhouse, and he finds Sven there. Sven has his wallet out, and he's throwing money down into the hole of the outhouse. Ole asks, Uff da! Sven, watcha doin' there, fella? You're throwing the five dollar bill and the ten dollar bill down into the hole of the outhouse! Whatcha doin' that for?" Sven answers, "Well, when I pulled up my trousers I dropped a nickel down there—and I'm not going down into that mess for just a nickel!"

Sven and Ole are roofing a house. Ole picks a nail out of the pan, examines it, and with a "nope" tosses it over his shoulder, picks up another one does the same thing, picks up a third and after examining it uses it to nail in the shingle. Sven seeing all of this exclaims, "Ole! what the hell are you doing, wasting nails like that?" Ole replies, "Well you see, those nails they're pointing towards the house, I can use them. But these nails... they're pointing away from the house, they're useless." "Ole you IDIOT!!" Sven replies, "those nails aren't something you just throw 'way willy nilly... those nails are for the other side of the house."

Ole is on his deathbed. The doctor has told him he has only a few hours to live. He catches the scent of his favorite bars wafting through the air. With all the strength he can muster, he drags himself into the kitchen and sees a fresh pan cooling on the rack. He cuts one out and bites into the scrumptious cookie. Lena comes in, smacks his hand, and says, "Shame on you, Ole! Dese are for after de funeral!"

Sven and Ole go to Fargo and visit a brothel. A woman says she will have sex with both of them for $20, but insists, "You have to use rubbers 'cause I don't want to get pregnant." They agree. Back on the farm, a week later, Sven says, "Hey, Ole, remember that girl we met in Fargo?" "You betcha, why?" Well, I been thinking I don't give a damn whether she gets pregnant or not." "Me neither." "Well, let's take dese damn tings off, then"

Sven is late for work. The boss finds him in the bunkhouse, and Sven explains that he has an erection and can't get his overalls on. "OK, Sven, you need to go in the barn and get a shovel full of nice hot horse manure and pack it around there. That'll take down the swelling and you can come on and get to work." Sven goes to the barn and open his fly and gets the shovel full of manure ready. At that moment, the bosses' wife walks in. "What the hell are you doing, Sven?" Sven explains what he is doing. "Yumping Yeesus, Sven, don't do that, stick it in here!" (She pulls up her dress). "What?" says Sven. "The whole shovelful?"

Ole wakes up one morning, remembering that it's his and Lena's 25th wedding anniversary. Ole punches Lena in the arm. Lena awakes and asks, "What was that for?" Ole says, "That's for 25 years of bad sex!" Lena then punches Ole in the arm. Ole asks, "Why did you hit me?" Lena says, "That's for knowing the difference!"

Delmar Little League Parade Saturday

Bright and early on Saturday, April 20th at 8 AM the Delmar little League will have their opening day parade.  Games start at 11 AM.  Food will be at the park.  The Parade will follow the usual route from the High School to the Park and the little League Field.

It's National Library Week

Did I fail to mention this is National Library Week?  It is and it is from April 14 to April 20th.  It is time to celebrate the contributions of our nation's libraries.  They even have a theme and this year it is “Communities matter @ your library,"

So stop by check out a book

use the computer

watch a DVD,

and more

all those things you can do at the Delmar Library.

Altho President Obama issues a White House Proclamation for every odd ball group out there I see once again none for National Library Week, therefore, I Howard will once again issue my own proclamation for National Library Week.

National Library Week 2013 Proclamation

WHEREAS, libraries have historically served as our nation’s great equalizers of knowledge by providing free access to all;

WHEREAS, libraries work to meet the changing needs of their users, including building print and electronic collections, expanding outreach services and increasing programming;

WHEREAS, our nation’s libraries provide a forum for diverse ideas and points of view that help us better understand each other and ourselves;

WHEREAS, librarians are trained professionals, helping people of all ages and backgrounds find and interpret the information they need to live, learn and work in a challenging economy;

WHEREAS, librarians design and offer programs and courses to develop research, information literacy, and related technology and learning skills;

WHEREAS, libraries are part of the American dream, places for education, opportunity and lifelong learning;

WHEREAS, libraries, librarians, library workers and supporters across America are celebrating National Library Week, April 14-20, 2013, with the theme of “Communities matter @ your library,"

NOW, THEREFORE, be it resolved that I, Howard, Blog Owner Of The Delmar Dustpan, proclaim National Library Week @ Delmar, April 14=20, 2013. I encourage everyone in the Delmar community to take advantage of the many resources and services available at the Delmar Library. I also encourage everyone to thank the entire Library staff whose expertise and dedication make the Delmar Library a Library of distinction.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

The Janet and Nathan Wedding

For us this year's round of weddings kicked off with the the wedding of Janet and Nathan on Saturday.  All weddings are great but this one was exceptionally so.  A nice traditional ceremony at St. Francis de Sales Church followed by a reception at the Civic Center in Salisbury. We enjoyed it.  Good Luck Janet and Nathan.